I am in a season of change. Recently Jesus has been shifting quite a few things around in my heart. As immature as it seems, I found myself at Frothy Monkey today feeling sad, and I wasn’t even sure why. As I opened up my bible app The Lord met me, as he usually does, and gave me the perfect verse to unclench my fist and open my eyes. We began to work out why I felt sad and compared His truth to the emotions and stress running through my brain. When I began to journal, my immediate reaction was frustration with myself for feeling sad and frustrated.
After some processing with Jesus here’s my analysis of this weird, emotional, and probably slightly hormonal rollercoaster I know I’m not alone on...
It’s ok to mourn the loss of pieces of yourself. Obedience is hard. Dying to yourself is hard. Is it ok to stay in that place? No. My sad fit lasted about an hour or so, but for others it might be longer or shorter. Today I had to let go of control, and that SUCKS. I really like being in control. As fun loving, and free spirited as I am...I tend to be a control freak with certain areas of my life, and Jesus doesn’t like that. He tends to want EVERY area of my life. Giving up control today stressed me out, but it also revealed an honest evaluation of my trust...and it wasn’t pretty. It’s been rumored that God ONLY encompasses joy and everything else is from the enemy. I’m not sure where we as humans get this idea, but I’ve found nothing can be further from the truth. I wish I could tell you all the times the Lord used hard situations for His Glory. I can’t count how many times He has sat me down and disciplined me on certain areas of my life. Did that feel good? No way! No one likes to hear that they are wrong. Was it for my good? Absolutely. Not every heavy emotion is a bad one. Sometimes they simply mean you’re being made new. Sometimes that can hurt but it’s not forever and it’s always for our good.
If you find that you are inexplicably sad,tense,or frustrated I encourage you to ask Jesus why. Emotions are not something to be ashamed of or ignored. There’s a reason they’re there. Don’t be too hard on yourself and always keep seeking truth.